Leaving Home
by blakes8th
Summary: Leaving something good can be difficult, coming back can be even harder. Two parter for Valentines. Sandland.
1. Chapter 1

Leaving Home

Disclaimer: New Tricks is the property of the BBC. I'll give it back before they miss it.

Rating: M

Spoilers for just about the whole of season 10.

/

"There isn't going to be a next one!" Sandra wanted to slap her hands over her mouth, the look on Robert Strickland's face was one of shock, and hurt. "I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come out like that...And I don't want you to think this has anything to do with Annie Banks." She tried to explain

"So, you're leaving." He looked away from her, momentarily unable to meet her eyes. He felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"Max Clemont has offered me a place on his war crimes team and I've given it a lot of thought..." She knew she was babbling. He seemed to recover himself. He looked back at her, his face fixed in 'professional' mode.

"Well its about time." She looked at him in shock. "Its ten years Sandra."

"I know." She couldn't believe he was dismissing their time together so casually. She hadn't realised how much it would hurt.

"Its a good move. It'll be a fantastic experience."

"Your not worried about the team..."

"They're a good team and that's thanks to you, but let them be my problem. The very least I owe you for everything you've done at UCOS is not to stand in your way." Suddenly she saw it. He was giving her an easy way out, hiding his own feelings and showing her that the door was open, no baggage to be hauled with her.

"Thank you."

"I'll talk to Clemont, get everything sorted out. I assume there will be some sort of drinks thing." The conversation was becoming uncomfortable now.

"That's a fairly safe assumption sir, yes." There was a moment of awkward silence, Robert looked around as if unable to meet her eyes again, she watched him, she could see him thinking, mulling things over. That was one of the things she had come to realise about him, he was a thinker.

"So you think you can crack Annie Banks?" That took her by surprise. She blinked.

"I can if I run with this new lead."

"I'm passing all this upstairs at the end of the day, and that will be that. Whatever you can do in the mean time." There it was, he was giving her this, as a parting gift, he was giving her the chance to close her personal 'moby dick' case. She smiled. He met her gaze. "Be nice to go out on a high." He gave her 'that' little smile. The one which could melt her bones, she grinned back.

"Yes Sir." He turned and looked at the evidence board. She moved to slide past him, he caught her arm gently.

"Sandra?" She stopped, keeping her eyes facing forward, not wanting to make eye contact.

"Not at work, we promised." She didn't want this conversation now, she had a killer to catch. She felt like a coward, but she didn't want to face this at all.

"Later then. But we need to talk about this.

She nodded and walked out of the office. Had she looked back, she would have seen him wander over to the little sofa and slump down on it, his head in his hands.

/

Later that evening, the gang were all in the pub and had been joined by a growing number of well wishers, most of who were now worse for wear. The news of Sandra's departure had spread and a good number had turned out to say their goodbyes. It had turned into quite a party.

Eventually, Sandra made her way out into the little yard behind the pub, the party was still in full swing, but she felt like she needed a bit of fresh air, she was feeling a little bit self conscious at all the attention. She sat down on a stack of upturned crates, enjoying the momentary peace.

"Sandra?" She stiffened slightly. She had watched him through the evening as he had stood at the end of the bar, out of the way, largely unnoticed. He must have seen her come out here.

"Were you waiting for the chance to get me alone?" She asked. He shrugged.

"It didn't seem like there was going to be any other way. You've gone out of your way to avoid me." He replied, she looked down at her feet.

"I know, I'm sorry." She looked up at him, his dark blue eyes shining with emotion. She knew she had to face this, she nodded. "Ask."

"What about us? Is it over?" His voice quivered slightly, betraying him.

"I don't know. I need to think it through, I hadn't expected a job offer that will take me all over the world. I can't talk about this now." She stood, turning her back on him, unable to bare seeing the pain in his features which she had put there.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When will you talk to me. Or is that how I will find out, one day you'll just be gone." She turned on him angrily, did he really think she would just leave him hanging? But as she caught sight of the despair he was trying desperately to hide, she realised, that is exactly what he did expect, and he was right, she would have just gone away, making empty promises that she would phone him regularly, and come and see him whenever she could, then the phone calls would get further and further apart, the visits would never happen and time would pass. He deserved better than that.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said. He nodded, the pain in his eyes almost unbearable.

"Sandra, I've never asked you for much, no promises, no declarations of affection, no commitments. All I ever asked is that you treat me kindly. I can accept being left behind for the chance to see the world and make a difference. But please, tell me you are not leaving me for Max." His voice was quiet, and small, almost scared, she felt tears spring into her eyes, this was cruel, she should never have got involved with this man, he was too sensitive a soul, and she had known when they had first kissed, that she would end up hurting him. She took his face in her hands, laying a small kiss on his lips.

"I'm not seeing Max, he took me for a drink and offered me this job. He's not the reason I'm going." She assured him. He nodded.

"Thank you." He whispered. He gazed into her pale blue orbs, the tears shining there and the wet trails running down her face. He wiped them away with his thumbs, unable to stop the tears from falling from his own eyes.

"You'll ruin your make-up." He gave her a small smile, she half hiccuped, half laughed. "Sandra, I know you don't want to hear this, but...I love you, I always have and I always will." She made to speak, but he laid one finger softly on her lips. "It's okay. I don't expect you to say it back. Just... Take my love with you." He leaned in and gave her a kiss, which she couldn't help but return. It wasn't one of the passion filled kisses which they had shared many times before, in those stolen moments between the sheets of one of their beds. This was the kiss of two lovers who knew they were doomed to never be together. They were interrupted by a shaft of light which caught them full on as the back door of the pub opened.

"Sandra? Ah, there you are. Oh!" Steve looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, but Brian and Esther have arrived, everyone is looking for you." He looked at her apologetically. Robert took a step back.

"Go on, I know you haven't seen them for a while."

"Are you coming back in?" She asked , though she already knew the answer. He shook his head.

"No, I'm not the Lane's favourite person. Besides, this is your evening."

"Robert..."

"We were good though. Yes?"

"We were amazing." She agreed. The tears flowed freely down her face now. She brushed her fingers along his jawline, feeling the slight traces of stubble. "Bye Rob."

"Good bye, Sandra." He kissed her one more time before turning and leaving out of the side gate, he didn't look back. Sandra wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears. She felt a tissue being pressed into her hand. She turned and found Steve standing patiently by her side. He smiled at her.

"How long?" He asked, she knew what he meant.

"Since Jack left, nearly two years."

"Does anybody else know?" He asked, she shook her head. "You both hid it well."

"We had to." She had almost regained control of her tears now. She looked at Steve, the sadness in her eyes evident. "Steve, will you watch him for me?"

The scot nodded, he smiled kindly.

"Aye, I'll take care of him." He assured her. "Come on, you need to make a stop at the ladies, fix that mascara disaster." He joked. She laughed softly. As he opened the door for her, she cast a glance at the gate which her man had disappeared through.

They had been amazing.

/

Author's note: Part two later today. XXX


	2. Chapter 2

Leaving Home

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

Rating: M

Pairing: Sandland

Spoilers for series 10

/

"Sandra, can you spare a moment?"

Sandra Pullman looked up from the evidence table, where her team were gathered, collating evidence of the latest atrocity to come to their attention.

"Gabbie, can you take over please, I'll be back in a moment." Gabriella, Sandra's right hand woman nodded and carried on with the briefing as Sandra peeled away and walked over to where Max stood by the door.

"What's up? Problem in court?" She asked. Max shook his head and indicated that she should walk with him. She grabbed her coat and bag and followed as he wandered out of the building into the early spring sunshine. He approached a small bench and sat, Sandra joined him.

"What I want to talk about is of a private nature, I don't want to share with the rest of the building." He explained. She nodded.

"Okay, what's on your mind?" She asked tentatively. Max smiled.

"Do not worry, I am not going to ask you out again. I know that your heart lies elsewhere. Back in London maybe?"

"What do you mean?" Sandra said too quickly. Max gave her a warm smile.

"You are not happy."

"I'm fine..."

"No. You do your work, then you go back to your apartment, then you come to work the next day, then you go back to your apartment again. You do not go out, you do not spend time with your colleagues, you do not socialise. You are lonely."

"I don't know what you..."

"Sandra. Did you leave somebody behind when you came here. Please, you can tell me. I think you need to tell me." She looked down at the pavement in front of her feet. She nodded slowly.

"He meant a lot to you?" Again, she nodded. "Did you love him?"

"Yes." She whispered. But I didn't realise that until I left."

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes, yes I do. But it's too late. I've already left him behind." She couldn't hide her sadness. Max put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Sandra, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course."

"Is it Robert?" Max watched as her eyes filled. She nodded.

"How?"

"I have known Robert for a very long time. He changed after you came to work with me. I think he believes we are together."

"Why, why would he believe that." She wondered.

"I don't know. But the last time we spoke, he told me how special you are and asked me to take care of you." He looked at her. She was a picture of misery, her team had expressed their worry about her seemingly lonely existence, they had all taken to her immediately and were fiercely loyal towards her. Max wanted to fix this, he felt responsible. She had been so self assured and bubbly when they had met in London, now she was deflated, as if she was just going through the motions of living. Max wanted to see the firey Sandra again. "Maybe it is because his wife left him for another man, he sees a pattern which is not there." She looked at him.

"What should I do?" She asked, looking for any kind of advice. He shrugged.

"Maybe you should go home and see him." She shook her head.

"That would be cruel..."

"No, Sandra, you misunderstand. I think you should go home." She stared at him.

"You mean leave Holland? But, the job..."

"I have to be based here. As the senior agent, I have to oversee all cases, and present the evidence to the courts. You are one of my chief investigators, your job will take you all over the world, sometimes for months at a time. There is no reason you cannot be based in England, I have one investigator who is based in Washington DC, another with a young family in New Zealand. This job is much easier to do when you have somebody to come home to."

"You never said.."

"I never knew you had a reason to stay in London. I'm not saying it will be easy, you would be away from home a great deal..."

"Maybe, but to be able to go home...to him." Her eyes were shining, but she looked down at her hands which were clenched in her lap. "But what if he has moved on."

"Then at least you will know. I have booked you on a plane to London, you leave in two hours, I suggest you go and pack a bag." He smiled as she looked at him in shock. "Go. Call me when you know something." He stood. "I'll tell your team. You have a plane to catch." He walked back into the building. Sandra took a breath as she watched him go. She stood and headed towards the car park. Max was right, she had a bag to pack.

/

It felt strange to walk into her old place of work, she looked around the lobby with a sense of comfort, it was almost as if she had come home. She walked up to the front desk, the young PC there looked up at her as she approached. She smiled at the young man, she remembered being that young, new in the job.

"Is DAC Strickland in?" She asked. He tapped a few keys on the computer.

"I'm afraid not. He's had to go out for a meeting." He told her. She sighed, she had built herself up to do this, now she suddenly felt the wind leave her sails. She smiled at the young man.

"Thank you..."

"Sandra?" She turned as she heard the familiar Scottish voice.

"Hi." She smiled, as Steve approached.

"Hi, yourself. Come here and give us a hug!" She felt herself enveloped in a warm bear hug which she returned with equal vigour. Steve pulled back and gave her a smile. "What brings you back to us?"

"I had to come back." Was all she could think to say. Steve nodded, he turned to the PC.

"Give the lady a visitors pass." He said. Sandra signed in and clipped the badge to her jacket. "Come on. Come and have a cuppa and fill me in."

She followed him down the familiar corridors and through the glass doors into the office which she had called home for so long. She breathed in the familiar smells, smiling softly to herself.

"God, I missed this so much." She whispered. She caught Steve grinning at her. "So, where is everybody?" She asked. He pointed to the evidence board.

"Woman jailed thirteen years ago for killing her lover. She had always protested her innocence, but now a new witness has come forward which backs up the alibi she gave at the time which was discounted by the original murder investigation. Gerry has gone to see her in prison, Sasha and Dan are interviewing the new witness." He paused, watching as she tried not to walk over to the board. She turned and sat down on the sofa. He passed her a cup of tea. "So, what is the world of war crimes like."

"Say it like that and it sounds like a video game." She grinned. "It's good, I think I've seen more of the world in the last seven months than in the whole of the forty six years previous."

"Aye, your pictures and messages made it sound good. So what brings you back to this wet and windy London in February." He sat opposite. Sandra looked down at her hands.

"I needed to see him." She didn't have to say any more, Steve understood. She looked up at him. "How has he been? I tried to call him a couple of times, but he never got back to me." She asked. He sat back.

"The truth?" She nodded. "He's struggling. To an outsider, he looks fine, but those of us who know him...He's been putting on a good show, but almost overdoing it. He rarely comes down here now, I think he knows we'd see through his act." Steve looked at her. "Sandra, what are you here to do, because I don't think he could take being left behind again."

"I've been given the option to base myself back here in London, but before I make another hasty decision, I need to know if he would want me back." She answered without hesitation. Steve was slightly taken aback. He hadn't thought Sandra would be so forth coming with her answer. He nodded slowly.

"Seems fair enough, and it would be brilliant to see more of you." He smiled. They were interrupted by the door opening, and the entry of the three other members of the UCOS team.

"Sandra!" Gerry's exclamation stopped the other two in their tracks. He practically ran to his former boss and enveloped her in a python like embrace, swinging her around. Sandra couldn't help but laugh.

"Gerry! For goodness sake, you'll end up putting your back out!" She warned him. He let her go, grinning broadly.

"Oh, Detective Inspector Sasha Millar, let me introduce Detective Super Intendant Sandra Pullman." The younger woman smiled and held out her hand and shook Sandra's warmly.

"I have heard so much about you. Please, when we have a few minutes, can you give me some tips on how to keep them out of trouble." Sandra laughed.

"I had ten years, and I never quite worked that one out."

"So what brings you back to UCOS, or did you miss us so much you couldn't stay away?" Gerry quipped. Sandra smiled.

"Something like that." She shrugged. "I may be settling back in London, depending on some personal issues."

"That would be fantastic." Gerry grinned. Dan nodded. Sasha looked unsure for a moment. Sandra reassured her.

"Don't worry, I'm not looking for my old job back. I'll still be working for Max, but I'll be based in London."

"So what personal stuff have you got to see to."

"Just a few loose ends. I should know by this evening whether or not I'll be staying." She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, Steve saw her struggle.

"Sandra has to deliver some papers to Strickland, do you know when he's due back from the NP meeting?"

"Oh, he's back. We saw him pull in at the same time as we got here." Dan confirmed. Sandra nodded.

"I'd better go and see him then." She told them. Steve stood.

"His office has changed. I'll show you where he is now. I want a sandwich from the canteen anyway. Any body else?" Dan declined, but Gerry and Sasha put in their orders. And after promises to meet up for a drink, Sandra followed Steve out of the office. They went up in the lift this time, giving Sandra time to calm the butterflies in her stomach. Steve watched her fight her inner doubt.

"Just tell him. He'll listen." The scot said. Sandra sighed.

"I don't want to hurt him Steve, I never wanted to cause him pain."

"Just...Tell him." The lift stopped and they got out. Steve led her to one of the large wooden doors. She nodded her thanks and watched as he went back to the lift. She took several deep breaths before knocking. She heard the muffled reply and opened the door, slipping inside and closing it behind her. She watched as he stood by the window, hanging his coat on the stand.

"What can I do fo..." His voice trailed off as he turned and saw who was standing in front of him. He was rendered speechless. Sandra took several steps towards him. She reached out her hand and trailed her fingers along the contours of his face. He felt a lump in his throat, he could barely hold back his emotions. "Sandra." He whispered, as though saying a prayer. She smiled.

"Rob." She moved forward and slipped her arms around him. He returned the embrace stiffly. "You have no idea how much I have missed you."

"Sandra, what are you doing here?" He asked, his voice soft, but raw with emotion. She drew back and looked him in the face.

"I want to come home." She told him, fighting back tears. Rob looked confused.

"What about Max?"

"I can still work for the war crimes unit. It would mean being away from home sometimes, but I want to be based in London. I want to come home to you."

"But you and Max..."

"Oh, Rob. There is no 'me and Max'. It wasn't until I got to the Netherlands that I realised how much I love you. I've felt so alone. Please let me come home. Please tell me that I haven't lost you." She pleaded. He looked shocked.

"Of course you can come home. I told you, I will always love you. The truth is, I've been lost since you left." He brushed the hair away from her face. And stepped in closer, she tipped her face back and their lips met, the kiss turning passionate. Eventually, they reluctantly pulled apart, Rob gave her a shy smile.

"Whatever happened to 'not at work'?"

"I'm not at work." She smiled back. She looked sad for a moment. He caught the change.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you. I was such an idiot to leave you, and I caused you so much pain, yet you take me back without hesitation. You are amazing, and I am so lucky." He smiled softly at her.

"I'm the lucky one, because you've come back. And I can live with you travelling the world to do your job, if I know you will be coming back to me."

He kissed her again, more gently this time, but full of love. They were interrupted by a knock at his door. He pulled away, smiling, she grinned and wiped the lipstick smudge from his lips with her thumb.

"Come in." The door opened and a junior officer handed Robert a file. He nodded and took the folder. When the PC had gone, Rob turned back to Sandra. "Do you know where you are staying?" She shook her head.

"I just packed a bag and got on a plane."

"Then come and live with me, you know I have the room."

"Are you sure? I'll need an office to work from, and members of my team will have to visit..."

"Of course I'm sure. The house is far too big for one person, and there is ample room..."

"One condition." She grinned. He raised his eyebrow.

"Go on."

"I want it to be forever, no more wasting time." She looked into his pure blue eyes, she saw him realize what she was hinting at.

"In that case, Sandra Pullman, will you marry me?" He asked, she felt the tears spring into her eyes, but unlike the tears she had been shedding non-stop since that night she had left, these were tears of pure joy.

"Yes! Oh God yes." She laughed. He pulled her back into his embrace before letting her go and grabbing his coat.

"Come on." He grabbed her hand and led her towards the door. She grinned.

"Where are we going?"

"I've just proposed to you, and I haven't even got a ring. So we are gong to the jewellers, then I'm going to take you home and make love to you." The last part was whispered sensuously into her ear, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"I like that plan."

"Do you want to tell the others." She stopped and looked at him. He smiled. "I know you must have already been down there, Steve signed you in on your pass." He pointed to her badge. She rolled her eyes.

"Can't get anything past you. I hid out down there while I was waiting for you to get back from your meeting. They don't know anything else yet though, except there was a possibility I might be moving back to London. I wanted to see you before I told them anything concrete."

"You thought I might not want you back?"

"You would have been well within your rights to tell me to sling my hook with the way I treated you."

"I would have been a total idiot to do that. I love you Sandra." He told her, his voice heavy, she smiled.

"I know. I love you too."

/

A few hours later, Sandra lay in Rob's huge bed, her head pillowed on his shoulder as he dozed, her eyes focused on her hand which lay on his chest, with the gold band on her ring finger. They had spent almost an hour in the jewellers, as she looked for the perfect ring, but it was Robert who found it, tucked away in a corner case. She smiled to herself as she remembered the scene in the shop. The assistants had been growing more and more desperate as she had become convinced that they just didn't have the 'right' ring. They were all either to big, or too fancy, or too flash. Then Robert, who had drifted over to the other end of the counter has pointed to a small display and simply said;

"This one." The assistant had got it out and showed her, and it she had almost stopped breathing, it was perfect. A simple welsh gold band with a small single square cut diamond. Rob had taken it from the assistant and had slid it onto her finger, it had fit perfectly, as if it had been made for her. She had gasped slightly at the price, but Robert hadn't batted an eyelid, instead whispering that she was worth every penny.

Now laying here, looking at the glittering band she couldn't help but wonder at the way her life had changed in the last twenty four hours. From that conversation on a wooden bench in Holland, to this moment of pure contentment. She closed her eyes and memories of the last couple of hours sprang into her mind. The feel of his hands on her body as he had undressed her, worshiping every inch of her. The small sounds of contentment he made as she had returned the favour. The way they fitted together, their naked bodies entwined, lips on lips, hands rediscovering each other, then the way he had filled her, driving her to heaven and back over and over, his body over hers, moving against her, putting just enough weight on her to possess her without crushing her. He had given himself completely, pushing her to climax several times before he let himself finish. She had held him as he had emptied into her, his body shuddering against hers. Then they had fallen into a light sleep, wrapped in each others embrace.

She noticed Rob was watching her, a look of pure love on his face. She snuggled closer.

"I'm going to need to make some phone calls." She murmured. He nodded before flashing her 'that' smile.

"Right now?"

"Well...Maybe a bit later."

/

_Several months later._

Sandra watched as the London scenery flashed by outside the car window. Life was good, better than good. She had a fabulous man, and her amazing friends. Max and Robert had conspired to set up a London based war crimes unit, so that she truly was based here now, her team had jumped at the chance to relocate and had joined her. Robert had even secured her premises in the building she was so familiar with, in fact, the London offices of the war crimes unit was housed in the very basement that UCOS had started in all those years before.

Her team, both the old one and her new one had been over the moon when they had discovered her engagement, and that was the reason she was in this car, pulling up outside the registry office. She smoothed out her cream outfit and checked her flowers. She felt the hand on her arm.

"Okay?" She turned to Brian and nodded.

"Just a bit nervous."

"You'll be fine, and you look a picture." The northerner beamed at her. She smiled back.

"Thank you again for doing this for me."

"Thank you! I could hardly believe it when you asked me to give you away. It's an honour." They got out of the car and went into the office, her team were there, and her UCOS friends, including Sasha. She and the new UCOS supervisor had become good friends over the past few months, and she smiled at the younger woman, who sat next to a beaming Steve, Sandra had an inkling about those two. Gerry and Dan sat either side. Gerry stood and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"You look knock out." He whispered. Beaming at her. She grinned back. She looked to the other side where her mother sat with Esther, both women crying into their hankies. Then she looked down to the front where her husband to be stood waiting for her. Max stood by his side as Rob's best man. She took a breath and started the walk down the aisle with Brian by her side.

The groom smiled, and she walked up and stood by his side. The registrar nodded to them both and looked down at the book in her hand.

"We are gathered her today..."

As the ceremony drew to a close she looked out at her friends and family, and for one moment, she was sure she saw Jack sat near the back. He winked at her then as she blinked, he was gone. She smiled wistfully. Rob must have noticed.

"Everything alright?" He asked her, concerned. She held his arm and smiled.

"Everything's perfect."

/

Authors note. Lots of Valentine love to all who read my stories. XXX Sarah.


End file.
